To Sleep Perchance to Dream
by Soul of Hope
Summary: All Karkat Vantas ever wanted was a normal life. Cue mother leaving, a father with rampant alcoholism, and prone to beating the shit out of poor little Karkat. Could his life get any worse? Enter Sollux Captor, the new kid in town who might just be Karkat's saving grace. Or will he? With secrets, lies, and misunderstandings to deal with, will these two ever get together? Solkat.
1. Inscribe

**Hey there stranger, and welcome! This is the first of the many to come chapters of my brand new solkat. It's going to be LOONGG (hopefully, most likely) and it's going to be gritty, folks. I don't exactly know what, and I don't want to spoil it, but I'll put warnings at the beginning of each chapter, da?**

**Example: WARNING! Extreme teenage bullshittery angst below! And lots of swearing, but duh it's Karkat we're talking about.**

**Get it? Got it? Good ;D whaaale don't forget to review! I already have most of the second chapter typed but I don't want to continue to update this story if no one likes it D; **

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah I don't own, but I will one day when I marry/murder Hussie, ya know whichever is better in my interest ;D (I wish)**

**ANYWAY, on to the story!**

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**Karkat's POV**

-On the line below, describe your life in three words.

That was some pointless question (or demand really) from some pointless survey that I was filling out for some pointless reason. And I don't know why, but ever since that day, it's been a habit of mine to do just that ever since.

That was three years ago I started, but I still can't remember my original answer, and that bothers the hell out of me. But oh well, no time like the present. Anyway, my life hasn't exactly been up to par ever since this started. I keep a record in one (of many) of my journals; did I mention I'm a writer? Yeah…it's a thing I do when I'm stressed, need to vent, or whatever. Of course, my peers belittle me for it, but everyone does that. Whether it be my writing, the singing/dancing, the art I create. No matter what I do, people judge and criticize me for it.

"It's alright, son," my dad (back when I could call him that anyway) would tell me. "People are vicious creatures. But no matter, don't let their jealousy get in the way of your dreams." He would always tell me everything is fine, obviously in blatant denial about mom, who would come home later and later each day, smelling of fancy cologne and stale cigarettes. He'd simply drink his suspicions away.

This (obviously) didn't last very long, maybe a couple more months before one day she just didn't come back at all. I can still remember poor little eight year old me, kept awake hours into the night by all the screaming and arguing. I still couldn't tell you if her finally changing her number was a good thing or not. People (only teachers that were paid to give a shit) would ask me what's wrong, where I got those bags under my eyes. I would just muster up the best smile I could and tell them it was simply because of all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed the night before. I would then receive a (sometimes fondly) stern look and lecture, but that was it. Whether they could tell I was lying or not didn't matter, they accepted what I the lie I had said because it was easier to deal with than the truth. People accept lies over the truth every fucking day of their life.

And just when I thought things couldn't get worse, the first hit came, the first time (of many) that I was beaten to a pulp by my so-called father. And it serves me right for being such a miserable excuse for a human being. I (barely) remember the beginning, how I would outright refuse to believe the things he had said about me were true. There was no way I could be any of those horrible things that he accused me of being. However, soon the evidence started piling up around me. No one liked me; those that did befriended me out of pity or hated me with a fiery passion.

And just how all too true that was, I thought middle school was bad, high school is hell revised and improved better fit for your eternal suffering. I have little to no friends, I sucked at, well, everything, and peers were all too eager to remind me of this…everyday.

So my life in three words?

Really fucking sad.

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**Goddamn KK, could you get anymore stereotypical, emo, misunderstood teenager? Jeesh! jk jk I love you sweet babies ^.^**

**Don't forget to ****Review!**


	2. Serendipity

**A/N: Wooo, it's finally here you guiiiiisee. I'm sorry this took so long, and I promise that ch. 3 won't take so long to upload ;) and btw, thank you for all the reviews! Each one makes me all warm and fuzzy inside -snuggles you all to death- **

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own homestuck, and the title of this chapter comes from Les Miserables, which I saw over break, and it was beautiful. Seriously, we got out of the theater and I was a bawling mess, gahhh it was horrible. **

******okay, enough rambling, onto sweet hot yaois!**

******UPDATE: I fixed the format, so that should hopefully, not be a problem anymore, and I went through and corrected whatever mistakes I could find, but idk if I got them all so if you spot any pls feel free to tell me! I won't take any offense honestly I'd be offended if you didnt tell me ;p**

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Ch.2

I woke up to the sound of gunshots. Typical considering where I live, but just once I wish I could wake up to the sun streaming in through my window, birds chirping stupidly, the whole shebang. I get out of bed begrudgingly, somehow not tripping over the mess I call a room, and try to look for 'clean' clothes.

God dammit, looks like dad forgot to go to the Laundromat (again), which leaves…. Oh dear god, that pink fucking sweater.

Why do I have a pink fucking sweater? Because, I have some shitty ass friends who get the idea in their drug-addled brain that pink fucking sweaters make a great birthday gift. I sigh, looks like it's pink fucking sweater time. After putting on that monstrosity, I also throw on some shitty pants and make my way to the kitchen.

I (miraculously) make my way through the sea of empty beer bottles and go ahead to make the most quality breakfast ever, consisting of one half of a poptart with a glass of chocolate milk. Fuck the haters. Once I had eaten, (more like shoved down my esophagus) that, I get out of that shithole and start walking towards an even shittier hole… Okay, so not exactly a hole, but it might as well be considering how implausibly shitty it is. Just the entire idea of school is possibly the worst idea ever.

Once there, I go through the main entrance ignoring the usual disgusted looks and make my way to the usual spot. Once closer, I see Clown-face and Cripple already there. I sigh, already sensing the awkward sexual tension from here.

"Well hey Karbro, how are the miracles be treatin' you today?" Clown face greets me, eyes only focusing on my for a second before they were distracted by all the 'miracles'.

"Like fucking shit, Gamzee, as usual..." I grumble back at him. He simply continues to smile obliviously, most likely not even registering that I had replied. Tavros then attempted to break the awkward silence with fucking small talk.

"So Karkat, did you uh, hear about the new student coming today? Gamz and I were, uh, just talking about him…" he trailed off quietly, spotting my annoyed expression.

"You know I don't fucking do idle chat, Nitram. Why should I care about some fucking new kid? God, it's called thinking before opening your useless mouth." I snap at him , ready to go on a full on rant about just how useless his entire existence is when I glance over to see Gamzee's face. Underneath the usual blank stare, I saw a lot of concern for Tavros in his eyes, with a hint of annoyance towards me. I scowl, turning away from them, but not before shooting an apologetic glance to Cripple.

Once far enough away, I look back at them over my shoulder to see Tavros on the verge of tears (as is usual) with Gamzee practically sitting on him in his attempt to shoosh the cripple. I get a funny feeling in my stomach, this weird mixture of annoyance, anger, guilt, and… abandonment? Loneliness? Either way I shook my head in uneasiness and then quickly storm off to my Secret Haven, with about half an hour before first period.

I zoom into the library, managing a nod towards , the nice librarian. After reaching the farthest corner of the room, (which is where my Haven is located) I then flop down angrily into my big, red, comfy chair and huff, crossing my arms.

Stupid Gamzee, I thought, stupid Tavros, stupid friends, who needs them anyway? Fuck the world. Fuck this town. Fuck me.

Amidst my bubble of hate and self-deprecation I didn't notice someone who was already here. A pair of blue and red glasses were looking towards me, below them an amused smirk.

"Well, thomeone woke up on the wrong thide of the hive." He said pleasantly, abandoning his book to lean back into the only other big, red, comfy chair to look me up and down with obscured eyes.

"Fuck you, who the hell lives in a hive? Let alone sleep in one...Anyway, who are you and what the fuck are you doing here?" I snapped back angrily, eyes settling into a permanent death glare.

"Woah, calm your titths, dude, I mean hive ath in beehive. I like beeth." He states patronizingly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and I was stupid for not knowing that.

"You still haven't answered my question, lispy." I shot back. Re-crossing my arms, unsure of when they became in uncrossed,

"Well, if it thtopth you from calling me lithpy, then I thuppothe I'll have to tell you. It'th Thollux, crabby, what about you?" he says, smirking at my increasing scowl.

"...Karkat. Look, it was nice meeting you and all, but can you please just leave now?" I pleaded, uneasy with just how quickly he kept up with my snarky words. Usually people didn't even catch on to the sarcasm. But then again, those 'people' are usually Clown and Crippled, so never mind.

"Oh, I thee how it is. You want to do the teenage angtht brooding thcene, huh? Well, trutht me when I thay I've been there, and nothing cometh of it. Tho I think I'll thtay right here." He finished with a devious grin, making a point of scooting his butt further on to the chair and getting comfortable.

I huffed, crossing my arms and pointedly looking away from him. The silence lasted all of ten seconds before he started talking again. "Well, fine, if you won't talk then I gueth I will. My full name ith Thollux Captor, I'm a Gemini, 17 yearth old and in my thenior year, and my birthday ith on June 12th. I jutht moved here from California, and I really like computerth, thpethifically coding. My favoite thchool thubjectth are Math, Thcienthe..." and he just went on and on, and I ended up listening to every word he said, finding his presence relaxing.

Before I knew it, the bell rang, and we both got up to leave when he turned to me.

"Well, I'll thee you at lunch then." He smiled at me, leaving no room for argument and then proceeding to walk out of the library. I huffed, again, annoyed at how flustered I felt and made my way to my first class, European History. When I finally arrive to my classroom, I plop down in my chair, and put my head down.

"Hey, Karbro, feeling a little sleepy this mornin'?" I hear Clown-face greet me, sitting down in the chair next to mine.

I grunt and sit up. "Something like that...hey Gam, listen. About this morning, you know, with Nitram?" I'm really sorry and uh..." I trailed off, fidgeting. Did I mention I'm horrible at apologizing?

"Nah, don't worry about it bro, everything is motherfucking miracles." He quickly reassured me, waving his hand nonchalantly.

"Okay, good. So, Gamzee, speaking of Tav, you guys ever going to get your heads out of your respective assholes and get together, or what?" I ask him. Seriously, try being alone with these two, the awkward sexual tension would kill anyone.

"Ha ha, yeah... Listen, Karbro, could you maybe please keep that on the down low? I don't want Tav to find out about my feelings and then forcing himself into being with me. it's just gotta happen motherfucking naturally, y'know? Otherwise it wouldn't be right..." He trailed off, losing the look of coherency from his eyes.

"Wow, you've really given this a lot of thought, haven't you?" I inquired, surprised to see he could focus on something for more than five seconds.

"Yeah, I have." He smiles proudly, "I want him to realize it on his own, and not feel obligated to indulge me for the sake of my own feelings." He finishes, nodding along like he was cementing it in his head.

"Well, best of luck to you, then, try not to kill the few remaining brain cells you have in the process?" I chastise him.

"Sure thing, brother. Honk." He replies happily, right before the teacher came in and class started.

The next few classes pass by in a blur, and before I know it I'm standing outside of the cafeteria. Despite myself, I feel nervous, excited even, to see Sollux again. I furrow my eyebrows in anger at this revelation and shove the doors open, stomping my way to our table haughtily.

"Woah, hey Karbro. You feelin' motherfucking miraculous or what?" Gamzee asked me. noticing my scowl and 'fuck the world' vibe.

"Fucking fantastic, dipshit. Now what the hell is for lunch?"

"Uh, I think it's a, chicken nuggets..." I hear Tavros answer from somewhere behind me.

I turn around, fully intending to tell him to fuck off, when I see the barely concealed excitement on his face. I groan, remembering his weird obsession with the disgusting food. I simply roll my eyes in silent disapproval before getting up to follow Gam and Tavros to the lunch line.

"So uh, Gam, what was it you were, uh, trying to tell me before?" Tavros asked, fiddling with his thumb.

"Huh? Oh, right. I was trying to tell ya 'bout how I was all up and motherfucking wondering if you uh, maybe wanted to have a sleepover this weekend?"

"Oh! Um, sure, that sounds great! I'll just have to, um, ask Rufioh. and then we'll be set." He said, grinning happily, with Gamzee beaming right back.

Rufioh is Tavros' adopted father. Years ago, when we were in middle school, there was this classmate of ours who was obsessed with Tavros, but she didn't know how to approach him. Her name was Vriska, and seven years ago on Christmas Eve, she decided to finally tell him about her feelings. Of course, Tavros rejected her, considering she had been his main tormentor for years since that was how she showed her affection. But when he told her she snapped. It is not quite clear about what exactly happened after that, but by the time the police arrived they found both of Tavros' parents dead (having been stabbed repeatedly) and Tavros himself lying on the floor, a knife sticking out of his lower back, (which the doctors later found out had severed his spinal cord and that's how Tavros became disabled) and he was bruised all over. They found Vriska covered in blood attempting to wipe her prints off the knife and escape, but it was too late. She was (obviously) arrested, and later sent to a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane, and so it was bye-bye Vriska. The next few years were very troubling and hard times for Tavros, and honestly if it wasn't for Gamzee, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be here today.

"Tho, KK ith only friendth with two other people? Thadly, thith doethn't thurprithe me." I hear Sollux sneer behind me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Fuck you, it is not my fault the entire school is full of dumbasses."

"True, but you could at leatht try to make an effort." He says, smirking patronizingly.

"Fuck you." I grumble, turning away to go get food with Tavros since we were finally to the front of the line.

By the time we get back, Gamzee had managed to convince Sollux to try his Faygo, and he was trying to convince Gam he likes it, but I can see he secretly thinks it's disgusting like a smart human being.

"Gam, stop trying to force your bullshit drink on people." I scolded.

"Aw, but I only wanted to share the miracles with him..." He trailed off, a slight frown on his face.

"Uh, it's okay, Gam, you can just share it with me." Tavros pipes up, even though he's not a big fan of the drink either.

"Motherfuckin' miraculous, Tavbro." He beams back at him.

Lunch continues to drag on, with Sollux fitting right in to our weird little group. I suppose I should've seen this coming; Clown-face and Cripple will take a liking to anyone. The rest of the day is as boring as ever, and I find out that Sollux is in all but one of my afternoon classes. I find myself being more at ease around him with each passing moment, and I ponder why this is on my way home.

When I do get home, I shouldn't be surprised that I was greeted with a punch to the face.

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**Awww, poor kk, the things I put you through, and I havent even gotten started -evil maniacal laugh-**

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!**


	3. Metothesiophobia

**A/N: holy oh my lord, it's been a long time :o I can't apologize enough for taking so long! :( it's just, life caught up what with school, my birthday, end of semester stuff AMKE (which was so great btw omg my first con ever I miss it already), you know. But hopefully this really awesome chapter will make up for it? ;)**

**Also, I noticed in the last note that I promised ch 3 wouldnt take as long to upload, obviously, I lied, don't trust me nothing I say is true. I'm like the Doctor rule number 1: the Doctor lies**

**so do I, ****apparently xD**

**TW: mentions of anorexia, more daddy issues, and abuse.**

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**Sollux's POV**

"Why can't you stop eating, fat ass?"

"Quit blocking the doorway you fat piece of shit."

These, and other variations, were the majority of my contact with the outside world growing up. And I'll admit, I was a sort of chubby kid, and so my classmates would taunt me relentlessly. The Lisp didn't help anything, and for a while I was one lonely little kid. Then I found out about the joys of the internet, and in turn found my escape. Pretty soon one of the few things I would do in my spare time was go on the computer, this didn't really help with the fat thing, but I digress.

My parents worried, of course they did, but they just figured I'd grow out of it. The real problem started after one weekend long binge of World of Warcraft, and I found out that if I ignore it long enough, the hunger goes away. Of course, the hunger pains don't, but if there's a will there's a way. So from that moment on I simply stopped eating.

This went on for some time, if anyone asked about my sudden weight loss I just told them I started working out, dieting-the usual bullshit-and no one suspected a thing.

Then, the divorce happened, and eventually my dad got the house, causing my mom and I to move. I was really nervous at first about moving away and starting over, silently kicking and screaming the whole way. But as much as I hate change, I hate my dad even more, so I had shut my mouth and dealt with it.

So besides not eating, I guess I don't have any real problems, unless you count being anti-social, depressed, and I hate silence; can't stand it.

My mom still worries about me (hell, who wouldn't ) But I try my best to make sure she never finds out about how fucked up I am, because being disowned would only add to the pile.

My name is Sollux Captor, and I'm a pretty insane person. Any questions?

**Karkat's POV**

By the time I arrive at school, I can already tell it's going to be a shitty day. I wake up late, meaning by the time I got downstairs my dad was awake with a hangover from hell. After dealing with that lovely guy, I managed to get soaked on my way to school by a passing car, and curse whatever higher power has it out for me.

I walk into first hour, late, wet, and pissed the fuck off. Luckily, when Gamzee spotted me he simply gave me a sympathetic nod and remained silent; knowing that was best.

"Hey Kar, can I talk to you?" I hear the one and only Eridan Ampora say from behind me, and I groan.

"Can I help you, fishdick?" I snap, letting him know I'm clearly not in the mood.

"Wwell, I knoww you said not ta bother ya wwith my relationship problems anymore, but I don't knoww wwhere else ta go." He whimpered, tears filling his eyes.

I sighed, "Can you do anything on your own? No, of course not don't even answer that. Ugh, well, what is it this time?"

"...It's Fef. She told me she feels trapped, Kar. I don't wwant her to feel like that, 'specially 'cause 'a me. Wwhat should I do?" He managed to get out between sobs.

"Well, you could back off a little for starters. And try not to be so dependent on her? I get that you think she's 'the One' and all, but that doesn't mean you can't have other friends." I tell him hoping he'll take my advice.

"Yeah, I knoww that...but-"

Luckily, the bell rang, cutting him off. The teacher walked in and he begrudgingly turns away from me, I feel a pang of guilt, and silently vow to help him out later, when I'm not so angry.

***another time skip***

When lunch rolls around, my mood isn't any better and if anything has actually gotten worse. I'd slept through both of my first and second periods, causing Ms. Serket, my first hour teacher, to give me a five-minute lecture that's almost as boring as her class, and Ms. Lalonde to simply stare at me creepily leaving me with the vague sense I've just been thraped.

When I get to the lunch table after getting my shitty school food, I'm greeted with the site of no Gamzee, leaving only Tavros and Sollux to keep me company. Wonderful.

"Hey asshats, where exactly is Gamzee today?" I greet them as I sit down.

"Oh, he texted me this morning and said his dad came home last night, so..." Tavros replied, trailing off awkwardly.

"So in other words, we're probably not going to see him for a while. I say, grimacing. "I get him needing space and all, but Tav do you think you could stop by his house after school, just to make sure he's still breathing?" I ask, worried for Gamzee.

"Of course." Tavros smiles back, and when I glance over at Sollux I see him looking at me with a slightly amused and measuring look on his face.

I glare at him and flick some of my food at his face which he dodges easily before smirking at me.

I ignore the weird flip my stomach does when we make eye contact.

When school gets out and I'm starting my miserable trek home, I'm surprised when Sollux joins me.

"The fuck are you doing?" I screech at him, startled.

"What'th it look like?" I'm walking home, duh." He answers easily, smirking at my reaction.

"Well, obviously, but why are you walking home with me?" I ask, less angry now and more nervous, what if he sees my shithole of a house? Or my dad, or fuck what if my dad sees him-

"Well, it jutht tho happenth that i live in thith general area, and it appearth that you do ath well. And when friendth, we are friendth you know, live in the thame vithinity they tend to walk together." Sollux says evenly, almost as if he'd practiced this little speech.  
I'm stunned into silence, but only momentarily.

"Well I didn't ask you to walk with me, and who says we're friends anyway?" I snap back angrily.

"Oh trutht me, we're friendth."

After that we fall into a very easy game of bantering, and before I know it we're standing outside his house saying our goodbyes. After he goes inside and I continue walking the one block to my house, I find myself feeling relieved that his house was before mine. I shake myself out of it, thinking what do I care if he saw how shitty my house was? Not like it matters...

When I get inside, I narrowly dodge a beer bottle thrown at my head, and quickly try to either make it up to my room or back outside, but then dad comes out of the living room and grabs me, crushing any hopes of escape.

I drown in the stench of alcohol and bruises.

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**I'm noticing a pattern of leaving off chapters at dad beating scenes, and idk why im not trying to i swear, hopefully it won't stay a pattern, and to be clear last chapter kk's dad punched him in the face when he got home, but grumbled away after not doing much and he didn't hit him hard enough to leave any marks. This time it will, but I'll go more into that next chapter. I was thinking of writing out this scene with his dad, but idk if it was too early yet so im going to eventually, but I'll just ease ya guys into it ;) ;)**

**Don't forgot to review, and also I LOVE YOU! :)**


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